


Persona 5: Social Distancing Edition

by LyssiLyssi



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, COVID 19, Fluff, Gen, Humor, One-Shots, Phantom Thieves during Covid-19, Quarantine, Short Stories, social distancing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:21:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25733494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyssiLyssi/pseuds/LyssiLyssi
Summary: A (potential) collection of light-hearted/satirical short stories and one-shots surrounding the theme of "What if the events of Persona 5 occurred during the covid-19 pandemic?Updates will come for this when I get the spur to write for it.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sakamoto Ryuji/Takamaki Ann
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	Persona 5: Social Distancing Edition

**8/18/2016**

**3 Days until the Cleanse**

**Wait for Futaba to Recover**

The dark passages of Mementos were split by the bright light of 3 hi-beams that scared the few shadows roaming around away from the group traversing the tunnels. Inside the Monabus, the leader of the Phantom Thieves drummed his finger against the open windowsill as he drove with the other hand. 

“It’s the next floor, right Mona?”

The response came through the sound system of the van. “Definitely! … I think.”

“Seriously, you damn cat? Can’t you ever be completely sure of something?” Skull cried out from the back row of the van in annoyance.

Before Mona could make a retort of his own, Panther wheeled on him from her position in the front seat, opposite Joker as far as she could be. “Can it, Skull! Can’t a girl get some magazine reading in without you raising your voice and pissing off Mona every 5 seconds?”

“I must agree. It is rather disturbing to my focus, and I am quite close to completing this sketch.” The eccentric Fox rallied behind Panther from his seat in the back row of the bus, as far away from Skull’s seat as possible. “In fact, I imagine Queen must be quite satisfied not having to deal with all of this bickering.”

Joker smirked and looked out the window to his left, where the second-in-command strategist was riding on Johanna alongside the Monabus. “How’s the peace and quiet out there, Queen?”

The girl in question spared a quick glance from the tunnel ahead of them to look back at Joker. “It’s quite calming, actually. Riding on Johanna is like therapy to me, on top of the fact that I don’t have to listen to Mona and Skull argue about who knows what. But while it does guarantee nobody is within 6 feet of each other, it also drains my mental strength.”

“Relax. The platform should be up ahead. I’ll get you some coffee once we get there.” He said in response, and the conversation was left at that.

Sure enough, a turn later, the platform came into view. Joker pulled up alongside the platform edge and the group hopped out, Morgana turning back to his anthropomorphic form after. The leader reached into his seemingly bottomless pockets while thinking about the bottles of sport drink he bought earlier that day, and pulled 6 bottles out. He threw one to each teammate with a gloved hand, then reached back in his pocket with coffee on his mind. One quick second later, he held a thermos full of Leblanc’s finest. Taking a quick swig from the cup, he felt himself become rejuvenated as he placed the thermos on the floor in front of him. 

Queen waited until he took a few steps away before casting Amrita Shower on the thermos as she picked it up. Reaching up, she pulled down her steel-plate mask that covered her mouth, drinking the rest of the lukewarm coffee greedily.

Joker watched as his teammates pulled down their respective masks to take a drink. Skull had a pirate’s bandana as his mask, while Panther’s was a red leather mask that hung onto her lower face snugly but had air vents for unhindered breathing to compensate for the leather material. Fox’s kitsune mask normally completely covered his face, but the jaw of the kitsune was unhinged so he could take a drink freely. Queen’s mask looked deathly uncomfortable: the steel plating ran all the way down to her chin, the lower half solid aside from a long horizontal slit for breathing, but she swore that she felt like the mask wasn’t even there. Although, to be fair, the masks were technically an extension of themselves, not purely some sort of safety measure to prevent virus infection. And wearing yourself was comfortable.

Joker himself had a mask that was made of playing cards, the trump card of the joker front and center over his mouth. The codename chosen for him was obvious because of that.

“You know, I wonder why our Metaverse outfits even have masks to begin with.” Skull started once he downed his energy drink. “It’s not like anybody else comes here, and we always heal up before we leave.”

Queen finished her thermos of coffee and set the thermos back on the ground for Joker to pick up, casting Amrita Shower on it. “Maybe it’s because we always wear masks in reality, too? So now it’s normal for us to think a rebellious outfit would have masks as well.”

“But if our outfits are our visions of what a rebel should be, wouldn’t we  _ not  _ be wearing masks?” Panther pointed out. “Considering all the rules to wear masks now, an act of rebellion would technically be to not wear one. Not to say I think we shouldn’t wear masks, by the way.”

Joker picked up the thermos and stuffed it back into his magical bottomless pockets, shrugging. “We may be rebels, but we aren’t stupid ones. Wearing a mask shouldn’t need to be something enforced. It should be something people do without being told, at this point.”

“That’s true.” Panther agreed. “Which is a good thing since we’re finally gonna get this target! I still can’t believe it. Going to elderly homes without wearing a mask? That can’t be forgiven!”

“Which is why we’re going to change his heart!” Morgana jumped up in the air with a fist pump. “C’mon guys, let’s do it!”

\----------

The battle left Joker desiring more.

True, their enemy was merely a Throh, and Joker had recently obtained a persona that could utilize psi skills to stop the monkeys in their tracks. It had become something of a necessity during Futaba’s palace after the thieves pulled themselves out of a very close scrape the first time they had to fight two at once.

But still. It could have at least lasted more than one All-Out-Attack.

As the shadow reverted back to human form, it cowered before the closing in thieves. “Please, don’t kill me! I just thought all this stuff was a hoax and would have fun with it!”

“And just because you had fun with it means it’s ok to put other people in danger?” Mona asked, pointing his scimitar directly at the shadow’s head.

It drew back into itself, wincing. “M-Maybe not… Maybe I should consider other people when I go outside next…”

“Before that, it is critical that you stay at home for two weeks. Even a mask is not enough if you are uncertain of your condition.” Fox added with narrowed eyes behind his mask.

“I understand. I’ll quarantine for two weeks, and then wear a mask every time I go outside.” The shadow began to glow. “Ugh, they’re always so uncomfortable though…”

It disappeared, and Joker nabbed the treasure out of the air.

“That’s all the targets for today.” Morgana attempted to stretch his hands over his head as he eyed the treasure, a skill card. “Should we head back for now?”

“Sounds good to me.” Said Joker, and the group retreated back into reality.

\----------

Several minutes later found the thieves standing in a wide circle in Shibuya Station, ensuring to keep a proper distance apart. Fortunately, the subway was nearly deserted, few people having any sort of reason to be out and about.

Ren adjusted the simple black mask on his face, sighing. “We should probably get home before we’re told off by the police for ‘hanging around and passing covid’.” He used his air quotes graciously. “I’ll check in with Sojiro and see if Futaba’s woken up at all. Is that ok?”

“That will work, yes. Although, Ren, they’re correct. We shouldn’t be outside unless we absolutely need to be, and ‘going into Mementos’ isn’t exactly a feasible excuse.” Makoto reminded him, causing Ren to roll his eyes.

“I agree we shouldn’t be outside unless we need to be, but we’re being safe. We’re all wearing masks, and we’re all practicing social distancing.”

“He’s right! ‘Sides, there’s that sayin, I think it’s ‘evil rests justice’ or somethin’?” Ryuji offered, to which Morgana moaned from his position on Ren’s shoulder.

“No you ape, it’s ‘evil never sleeps’! Or you could even say ‘justice never rests’!”

Ren chuckled and reached over his shoulder, pushing Morgana back into his bag with some resistance. “Get back in the bag, or we’re gonna have to worry about the pet fare and police patrols asking me why I have a cat outside. You wanna get tested?”

“Hell no!” Morgana yelped from inside Ren’s bag. “Besides, can cats even get covid?”

Ren shrugged, even though Morgana couldn’t see it. “Beats me. But let’s break off for now. See you later, everyone.”

The rest of the thieves shared their good-byes, and made their way to their train connections. Now, Ren just had to get home without an officer berating him for being out so late during a worldwide pandemic.

Well, he’d been through worse.

\----------

“Oh, you’re back. Where do you even go during times like this anyways, kid?”

Ren simply shrugged as he closed the door to Leblanc behind him, striding up to the counter where a bottle of hand sanitizer sat to clean his hands. “Just hanging out at a friend’s. And don’t worry, we were safe.”

Sojiro grunted in response.

“By the way, has Futaba woken up yet?”

His guardian looked up at him with a narrowed eye. “Again, I said I’d let you know if anything happened. I’m not sure why you’re so anxious about it.”

Ren didn’t know how to respond so he didn’t say anything. After several seconds of silence, Sojiro shrugged.

“Anyway, I’m gonna head home. Close up shop, will you?”

“You opened today?”

Sojiro nodded. “Kid, an old man like me is going to die of boredom unless I do something with my time. Even if barely any customers come in, at least something is happening. And before you ask, yes, I’ve been careful with cleaning and all that.”

“Thanks, Sojiro. It’s bad enough you’ve put me in the attic, it would be even worse if I had to disinfect every time I came home.” Ren replied with a wink.

Sojiro struggled to hide a smile as he retorted, “One more crack like that and I’ll throw you out, kid. Have a good night.”

\----------

Ren was laying on his bed, getting ready to go to sleep, when the group chat sprang to life with a message from Makoto.

> **_Buchi-koto:_ ** _ I just heard back from Shujin, it seems that they want to open school instead of us taking online classes. _
> 
> **_Runs4BeefBowls:_ ** _ For real?! That’s bullshit! Ain’t it way too dangerous to be opening schools at this point? _
> 
> **_Crepe_Addict:_ ** _ I would think that Kobayakawa wants to keep the school closed, wouldn’t opening Shujin be bad for its reputation or something? _
> 
> **_Buchi-koto:_ ** _ You would think that’s the case. However, the student council received the notice the school authorities are sending out to the students.  _
> 
> **_Buchi-koto:_ ** _ You’ll receive it in the next few days, but it essentially mentions how Shujin will be taking all these steps to ensure students’ safety in school. Kobayakawa thinks opening the school will show how dedicated it is to the students. _
> 
> **_Runs4BeefBowls:_ ** _ Shit, how crazy is this guy? I wouldn’t wanna go to school, that would be an infecting pit! _
> 
> **_Mamamia_Ren:_ ** _ Agreed. Maybe we could change his heart before school starts up again? I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a palace. _

To prove his point, Ren closed the messaging app and pulled up the MetaNav.

“Principal Kobayakawa”

_ No match found. _

“Did you forget? You need his first name, too.” Morgana meowed from Ren’s side, causing the boy to facepalm himself in annoyance.

The messaging app pinged again, and he moved back to that instead.

> **_Buchi-koto:_ ** _ I just checked; he has a full-blown palace. _
> 
> **_Mamamia_Ren:_ ** _ You know his first name? _
> 
> **_Buchi-koto:_ ** _ I did not, but it’s online. It’s also in the notice he’s sending out soon. _
> 
> **_Crepe_Addict:_ ** _ We should take him down asap! The safety of all the students is on the line! _
> 
> **_Starving_Artist:_ ** _ My apologies for not partaking in discussion, I have been busy with my latest artwork. I am quite busy at the moment, and my muse is tired, but I shall give my positive vote to partake in stealing Kobayakawa’s heart. _
> 
> **_Buchi-koto:_ ** _ I got the location, too. Shujin Academy, which is unsurprising. _
> 
> **_Runs4BeefBowls:_ ** _ Hell yeah, now we’re talkin’! Let’s kick this guy’s ass! _

“I give my blessing, too.” Morgana pawed at Ren’s arm. “We can’t let him needlessly put so many teenagers in danger, just because of his precious reputation.”

> **_Mamamia_Ren:_ ** _ Both Morgana and I are in, too. Meetup tomorrow at Leblanc and we’ll try to get the last keyword? I’d prefer to not be in public if I can help it. _
> 
> **_Buchi-koto:_ ** _ Agreed, it’s much safer to meet in private quarters where we know there hasn’t been any contamination. Plus, we don’t want to be seen loitering outside the school gates during summer; it would be very suspicious-looking. _
> 
> **_Crepe_Addict:_ ** _ I’ll be there! :D _
> 
> **_Runs4BeefBowls:_ ** _ Sounds good to me! _
> 
> **_Starving_Artist:_ ** _ Very well. I shall see you all tomorrow. It will be a good opportunity to see the  _ Sayuri _ as well. _
> 
> **_Mamamia_Ren:_ ** _ Perfect. See you tomorrow, everyone. _

Ren set down his phone on the windowsill, stretching. Next to him, Morgana kneaded his spot for the night. “Putting that many people in danger just because of a reputation is horrible. Especially since the virus could spread to the parents, and then from there, who knows where it would go?”

“Agreed.” The ravenette said as he laid back into his pillow. “Despite the coronavirus, this year has turned out alright so far. I’d hate to catch it now, especially given all the safety precautions we’ve taken so far.”

“Who would have thought your one year on probation would be accentuated by a worldwide pandemic, huh? Truly an exciting obstacle to navigate as Phantom Thieves!”

Ren rolled his eyes, smiling. “Easy for the immune cat to say.”

“Take that back! I am  _ not  _ a cat!”

When Morgana got no answer, he looked up from his spot to see that his friend’s eyes were closed, a small smile plastered on his face.

The feline let out a good-natured growl which turned into a yawn as he, too, settled down for the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Did anybody ask for this? Nope.
> 
> Did I write this instead of spending time writing either TWaM or Broken Souls? Yup. (Don't worry, they aren't going away!)
> 
> This was honestly just a fun little idea I had where I would put the PTs in a variety of unrelated scenarios during the covid-19 pandemic. I've been quarantining since March, and this is gonna be an outlet of sorts for me to vent frustrations about this entire situation. Unless suggested to me, all the stories will mostly be light-hearted attempts at painting the pandemic in a humorous light.
> 
> Also, since I really have no grand plans for this and since it's all going to be a selection of one-shots, this fic is open to any suggestions or recommendations! Do you have an idea for a situation the thieves could possibly be in if the pandemic existed for them? Let me know! I'll take it all under consideration, no matter the relationships, scenarios, AUs or not, etc. Just as long as it's something that's within realistic standards, I'll consider it. Also, I won't be considering any smut suggestions!
> 
> I hope people at least get a kick out of some satirical writing here, and please stay safe everyone!


End file.
